It’s honestly anti-feminist to tell someone how to support the feminist movement. Apparently, their sub is only for militant feminist professors of feminism. R/Feminism https://onlinedatingcritic.com/lovehabibi-review/ did the same thing to me, telling me i couldn’t call myself a feminist if i followed r/entitledbitch. Fuck me for being a feminist with a sense of humour.
valuable lessons Ive learned from FDS in recent weeks
The Verge reached out to Female Dating Strategy’s moderation team for comment. The moderators said they would only speak to us if we provided “valid government issued ID” as proof of identity, which we declined to do, and they declined or did not respond to other offers for verification. Rather than trying to continue to exist in this toxic environment and subject future generations of moderators to the traumatic experiences they endured, FDS decided to pick up and move to a new platform. Meanwhile, FDS was actually generating revenue for Reddit which, like many social platforms, depends on content creators to drive eyeballs and clicks to advertiser content.
We don’t go around invading male-only spaces, so respect our female-only space. This is a space where women can peacefully talk about dating strategies and dealing with negative male behavior, without having to deal with men who excuse that kind of subpar behavior. I’m the “troublemaker” of my family too, I’ve lost a lot of friends and family this year, through speaking out against two abusive men . I have been shocked at the responses of some of the women close to me and am now suffering the consequences of being unable to stay quiet.
FDS Official Twitter -@FemDatStrat
If its your elders you cant call their bullshit out apparently 🙃. If men abuse women and you are a women, whether you back them up or not over the years. That need to not be a target is strong for some women. That idea that if you join the side of the men who you perceive to be stronger that by becoming complicit in their abuse will mean that they don’t treat YOU like that.
I feel really really glad that there are communities such as this where women can come together and speak about their experiences candidly. It is so difficult to connect with like minded GROUPS of other women in real life. I didn’t get any support from my «women relatives», when I walked out of my abuser. Those were the ones who took maximum help from me. I echo the devastating aspect of women whom you saw as supporters turning a blind eye to abusive situations, even worse is when they join in.
The community is against pornography, prostitution, and BDSM. They argue that a woman is better off alone than with a man who drags her down. They educate each other about the early warning signs of domestic violence and provide advice on remaining financially independent . They see the emotional and physical labor that women put into dating as valuable, and expect that men will bring at least equal value in return. Female Dating Strategy offers women a system to survive modern dating through a focus on self-growth (“leveling up”), avoiding men with red flags (“vetting”), and taking control of their relationships. FDS recognizes that women currently exist in patriarchy and that this is unlikely to change for generations.
Their top post on the new FDS forum outlines their reasons for leaving Reddit and currently has over 43,000 views and 234 comments. Though many users appreciated the convenience of FDS being on Reddit, a large contingent of their supporters appears to have made the migration with them. Savannah pointed out that the work Reddit moderators do is unpaid, and a largely thankless job. While having to be so strict to maintain a female-only space, moderators would often be berated by their own community members for not keeping up fast enough with the demand. All comments and posts, should be focused on how the woman can derive maximum benefit for herself, and herself only. This sub is about optimizing the female dating experience.
Given that reality, they aim to provide women with tools to end up in happy, fulfilling relationships that bring value to their lives or to forgo them altogether. The alternative is ending up in a relationship that brings a woman down, or worse, becomes dangerous and potentially deadly. I haven’t been actively participating as much lately but I am reading a lot of everyone else’s posts and you are all proper hardcore women, it is extremely uplifting even when it is serious.
We don’t want to hear “both sides,” because that tends to end up in only favoring the male perspective. There are plenty of subs where you can share the male perspective, but this isn’t it. If you are a man, will be banned on sight for disrespecting our female-only space.
Being a HVW means standing up for other women in addition to standing up for yourself, not keeping the peace. If a woman you love is suffering, offer her support. Of course, pickmes may not take up this support right away, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be offered.
Reddit and its MRA internet army claim that communities like r/GenderCritical and FDS are “hateful” because they acknowledge biological sex and do not center men in their feminist analysis. Meanwhile, porn subreddits are allowed to focus on “cis women only” — so long as they are being violently abused like on the subreddit r/DegradingHoles. In addition to the threats, mods say they were often sent graphic material including dick picks, AOC deep fakes, Nazi hentai, sissy porn, and child sexual abuse material. At a certain point, the mods realized they couldn’t step back and ask other women to take on this work. We enforce a 100% ban on male posters but we still occasionally get an influx of comments from incels, weirdos, and just all around whiny annoying or hateful posters.
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists if you haven’t yet. The subreddit imploded after the mods started a podcast and began courting those who were against abortion/had conservative values as the original subreddit had A LOT of extremely feminist users. I actually think it still exists today but you cannot post or comment. Not all the users were bad, but the non-toxic ones were systematically purged so that all that was left were people who gushed about the rules and the mods the subreddit. What started off as some pretty sound advice like “Focus on yourself and your career first” and “Have standards” turned into debasing other women and reimagining strict gender roles. Although FDS may not explicitly call itself radical feminist or align with any political ideology, it is in many ways a modern application of radical feminist thought.